January 3, 2010

3 Situations When Lying is A Necessary Evil-Telling Them What They Want to Hear

Do You Tell Your Partner Everything?

k2132373

Do You, Really? They Probably Lie to You…
Every day, when we see people in committed relationships, other people always assume that when the two people manage to stay together it is because of complete open and honest communication, right? Surprisingly, that is not always the truth. You see, many times, when people manage to stay together so long it is because they don’t tell their partner everything. Sometimes, telling your partner what they want to hear is a better idea, lest you lose the one person in your life who means everything to you.

You also need to think about this. Do you really want, or need to know everything? Meaning, are you fundamentally capable of total and complete forgiveness, and sometimes indifference, should the other person in the relationship do something terrible, but tell you the truth about it? Would you tell your partner if, for example, you ran into your ex and happened to kiss them, not because you lusted after them, and not because you don’t love the person you are with, but for a stupid “for old times’ sake” sort of situation, would you tell your partner about it? If there is absolutely no chance of them finding out, I mean.

rebounding form one to another

rebounding form one to another


Some people say they would, especially the women, because the one thing women want is honest, right? But would it be worth the honesty to lose the love of your life over one stupid kiss that meant nothing? I think in a case like this, not telling would be the bet approach. This is because, sometimes, lying is a necessary evil, it is just a matter of knowing when it is probably ok, and to what extent. So here are a few examples as to when it might be a good idea to tell a white lie-for the greater good of the relationship, that is.

Situation One-What He Wants to Hearuhohjpg
Women, here is a situation where you NEED to tell him what he wants to hear. Otherwise you will never see him again, no matter how good you are to him. Imagine he takes you home, of if you take him to your place. You have had some drinks and are feeling sort of comfortable and are looking for something more to happen between he two of you. You start kissing an groping at each other. You reach down and grab at his special parts and he promptly makes a joke, implying at how “big” he is. You think to yourself that he isn’t really, at least no bigger than your ex was, and that’s not really too big at all.

So, do you tell him the truth? Only if you want to humiliate and hurt him. In any situation when it comes to a man’s manhood, it is always in a woman’s best interests to lie and tell him what he wants to hear. Otherwise, you may scar him, if not for life for at least the time he spends being with you, and I fear it won’t be long before the two of you break upnice after a comment in that department. So, if you value his feelings and whatever budding relationship you have with a guy, when it comes to his private army of three, ever, ever tell the truth. Unless he really is as big as a horse, that is. Then be as truthful as you want to be.

Situation Two-For Men & Women
Jealousy is a demon that we can all live without. The thing is, when it comes to our sexual past, jealously makes us ask questions about things we need to know, things we want to know, and things that should be wiped from memory, period. For example, say that one of you happens to mention how the other is the best when it comes to a certain move in bed. Do you then continue to tell them that you learned it from an ex? Of course not. But some people are actually dense enough to do just that, and jealousy rears its ugly head.

You see, when you are with someone, the other half wants-needs-to know they are the only ones you think about. So, if you learned a trick from someone in your past, pretend like you got it from reading a book. Because if you even hint at someone form your past, it will open the flood gates for more ugliness, jealousy and questions-unavoidable questions-of if they were better then them. Always lie about this, no matter what the answer. Always tell the one you are with that you have never had better. Or, you could tell them the lat person was a bit better in hopes of the one you are with wanting to learn, but I think you are digging your grave of breakup and it’s just not worth the trouble.

Situation 3-For the Guys
OK guys, you know how you need to be honest? You know how us women always ask if what we are wearing makes up look fat? Or if it looks good? Well, here is your chance to shine. Make her feel like a woman. Make her feel as if there is no other woman on Earth. Let her know that she is beautiful, passionate and attractive-and there will never be another in the world quite as sexy as she.

In other words, no matter what you do, NEVER tell the truth in this situation. Unless of course she really does look good, and she is the sexy mama you started dating her for… Or unless you think she really does look good with the UGG boots crop top and a mini skirt with a side of sausage… You get the picture, right? I mean, you did go out with her for a 56641051reason, right/ You did find her attractive at least in the beginning, so make her think you still do, even if you don’t, really because if he ever gets a hint otherwise, you will find yourself on the couch quicker than you can say the word break up.

Whatever You Do…
Make sure you remember what you said later if you need to use it again for some reason. The worst thing you want to do is tell a lie and then forget. That outcome would be worse than telling the truth to begin with. Because not only would they know the truth, they would know you lied to them. And that is worse than any truth ever told. They want t know you are honest from the beginning, they want to know you love them, but honestly, of course.

Which leaves you stuck in between a rock and a hard spot. How are you supposed to be honest if they really don’t want to hear what you are being honest about? It really is a difficult subject to navigate, so if you stick to these plans, you can’t lose. Unless you forget, that is. Good luck and go get to dating!

~Never Give Up Hope-When All Else is Lost, Hope is All We Have Left~

Leave a Comment

Filed under Dating Tips, General Dating

Tagged as , , , , , ,

December 28, 2009

The Power of A “Thank You…” & Its Simplicity

A Little Known Dating Tip Anyone Can Use & Learn From!

thank you
Today’s Society Can Be So Cold and Unfeeling
In today’s modern society, dating has become a multimillion dollar industry. Especially with the advent of Online Dating sites. There are so many people at any given time online, in bars and clubs, chat rooms-You name it! Face it, it can be down right discouraging to try to find someone you get along with, let alone a person you think you might actually want to date these days.

But don’t despair. I have stumbled upon a dating secret not too many are aware of. And if they are aware, they guard it with their lives, because I can tell you, people act as if they do not know about this. And to be honest with you, the less people who know, the better. Why? because it really does work. So why am I posting it here for all the Internet to see? Simple-I am loyal to my readers as my readers are loyal to me. You treat me and the blog well, I give you what you need to succeed in today’s cruel dating world-Online or off.

I know, I know… Everyone claims to have dating secrets and when you click on the link to get those secrets, they actually turn out to be the same old thing you have been reading for that last few month. It’s just been re-digested and spit out in the form of a newly worded tip full of dating garbage. So why is this different? To tell you the truth, I am almost 100% sure it’s different because I searched and searched online and I have found nothing pertaining to what I am about to tell you. AND… I used them myself, so I know they work.

Modern Times are Killing Manners
It’s true. The most basic of manners, even saying please and thank you, are dying. Why? Because in the day and age where everyone on the planet believes they are entitled to whatever they want, no questions asked. What is happening is that all of those self help books and motivation seminars are telling everyone who reads them or listens to them that they deserve whatever it is they do happen to want. And they also have a habit of telling them that they are entitled to everything they want too. It’s sort of like the behavior of a pathological liar, when they lie about something they have to cover their tracks so they create lie after lie until they start believing the story themselves. It’s the same thing when it comes to manners and relationships, and mostly common sense.

So Why Is It the “Thank You” That Is So Powerful?
Well, for starters, no one ever says the words anymore and if they do it is because it was an automatic response triggered by a certain behavior. The power of a thank you is amazing in many ways. First of all, if it is a genuine expression of thanks, a real calculated event that took place, its significance is tenfold what it would be were it just a pure gut response. A genuine Thank you is said with feeling, conviction as if the person saying is truly giving thanks to the person they are saying it too.

This is so very different than a Thank You that is uttered as a mere reaction or as an excited response given as second nature because those types of “Thank yous” are cold and distant, and have absolutely no feeling whatsoever in them. They do not mean anything from the person saying it, because they are programmed o say t. It was ingrained into them from an early age.

There are manners and then there are feelings and manners. Cold outright manners have no place in the real dating world, really, they belong with those types of people you would imagine have their personal wines shipped ahead of time to a cruise ship just so the captain knows they are the most important, that it’s all about them-do you know what I mean?

Now, on the other the types of manners that have feeling behind them, just like the power of a genuine thank you can move a feeling person to tears in a heartbeat. A heartfelt thank you is such a moving experience, it can really change a person.

So What Does It Really Mean?
Well, the power of a real Thank you can mean many things. It can mean the person saying it is no a cold heartless person, it can also mean they are genuine and mean what they say. But the real power of a Thank you is the fact the person thought YOU, the receiver of the Thank You, were worthy enough to receive it. And that in itself is a beautiful thing. It says something about the person saying it and also says something about you, the receiver. The both of you are feeling people and that alone is hard to come by in today’s society, really.

It is hard to find two people who care enough to express real manners in such a way as this. So if you have found a person like this, or if you are that person, do not ever change or let them go. It can mean the difference between a lasting relationship or a dud because anyone good enough to realize the power of a real thank you is certainly one worth hanging on to, for obvious reasons.


~Never Give Up Hope-When All Else is Lost, Hope is All We Have Left~

Leave a Comment

Filed under General Articles

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

December 28, 2009

7 (Mostly) Unknown Facts About Women-Part 3

Women Want Sex As Much As Men Do-If Not More!
But It Is A Certain Kind Of Sex We Crave…

13
No Matter How Much We Pretend Not To Like It
Yes, I am admitting it, and it is absolutely true. Women can be just as much of an animal as men are and sometimes even more so. Believe it or not, women are physical creatures too, as well as human, so we have physical needs as well as men.

Yes, although it is true that most of the time us women will pretend that we don’t need to have sex, or maybe we say it’s not what we think about all the time, but I can honestly say that I don’t know a women in my life who doesn’t crave the physical and emotional closeness that sex with a loving partner brings. I also know that most women will go to almost any lengths to get what she needs from her partner, too.
u17365879
The One True Difference
There is one gigantic difference between men and women, however. That difference is the feeling and the intent behind the sex. See, for women it is the emotional aspect of the physicality that makes us want it, and for men, it is the physicality aspect of the emotional. Women are basically spiritual and emotional creatures and men are mostly physical creatures.

It takes a perfect balance of the two, the physical and the emotional, the perfect pair of lovers, to make it work. When a women is at her perfect emotional or spiritual state is when she craves sex the most, because she wants, needs the physical other half to complete what she is feeling. When a man is feeling in his perfect physical shape is when he wants sex the most because he needs the close emotional and spiritual comfort to complete himself and what he is feeling.
k1421812
So, when two people get together and it doesn’t work out on that level, those two people will probably break it off within a few months or o. They are just ot compatible enough for each other to be perfect lovers. But when it does work ad a pair is perfectly compatible, it is the most explosive sexually, emotionally and physically fulfilling experience ever imaginable.

The Truth & What To Do With It
Now that you know the secret of women and sex, it is time to do something about it and use what you have learned. You see, it is not enough just to have the sexual relationship, even though it might be the perfect one. No, the perfect sexually fulfilling relationship, while yes it is explosive and feels perfect on some level, is nothing without the closeness the mind brings as well. Two people can be perfectly compatible sexually, yet be two totally fundamentally different people altogether, and the relationship might not work in spite of being perfect lovers.
inlovecommpg
So, how is one supposed to know the difference? Well, you actually should be able to tell this one before you get to the sex part, really. Just in these modern times, most people jump in bed before getting to know one another well enough to know anything other than the physical, so that is why I started there. But, please, I am in no way judging anyone-Absolutely not. I too have had my hand in the honey pot and got caught, so to speak. Which is why I speak of it as I do. I have been here.

So what is supposed to happen is two people come together for a reason, such as a friendship, dating, whatever you want to call it, they have commenced a relationship of some kind. These people will normally get to know each other, like and dislikes, who they are as people, on a fundamental, deeper, knowing level. They want to know each other, on a deeper level, so they can see if anything more will be worth the time and patience of waiting for it. And the way to tell if it is? Well, that’s the secret to the whole thing.

It’s Easier Than You Think-Which Makes It So Difficult
Communication. Simply put, this is the one true thing that matters. Communication is the deepest, most fundamental part of a relationship, of any kind. If two people cannot communicate on any level, the future does not look good. Can two people have great, explosive mind blowing sex and not communicate? Of course they can, but that is the kind of relationship that leads to bad break ups and nasty divorce battles. These are the kind of relationships that make it based on the sex alone, and any future based on sex alone is a bleak one at most and usually end within a year or so, no matter how good the sex.

Communication, while it has always been and always will be the key to a great, lasting and meaningful relationship, a couple who communicates well will to make based on the communication alone, either. That is what makes things so difficult. It is a delicate balance, a balance many have a hard time achieving. And that is another reason why so many relationships fail too.
k2167055
So, how is a couple supposed to balance the two? Well, they cna try to work at it, but for the most part it will come naturally is you let it. I firmly believe that anyone can be with whom they want to be with, as long as you work at it. Destiny or fate, is really what it comes down to. Do you create your own destiny or do you let fate take over?

For example, a couple who has the greatest sex life and are perfectly compatible in that way may not know how or want to communicate on any deeper level. And on the other had, a couple may have the communication thing down, but the sex life might be a bit lacking in the mind blowing department and one of the two always winds up dissatisfied. Both of these situations can be worked on, but it begs the question of if it was meant to be, why do you have to work at it, won’t it come naturally? It also begs the question, well, if we work at it and it works, then why not? u14638440

It IS Really Up To You As A Couple
Fate or Destiny, forced or natural, what it is depends on who you are and how you act as a couple. It is ultimately up to the two of you to decide how to go about making things work, if you do at all. That is one area I can not advise you in, as every situation is different in that respect. All I know is how it happened in my life, and what I learned from it, and that is what I am explaining here.

Women really do love sex as much as men do, just on a different level, for the most part. And once you can see this and put the knowledge to good use, things will tend to low a bit better, for the most part. the delicate balance I speak about? Well, that is what you call live ad learn, life and love. It is one whole package and one can not live without the other, no matter what the situation or what you pretend it might be.
u18076427
So please, take these words and use them to your advantage. You now know the most fundamental thing about dating that not many people even begin to realize about men, women and relationships in general. And if knowing really si half the battle, then a decision to work on certain parts of a relationship might not be that far fetched in the long run, don’t you think?


~Never Give Up Hope-When All Else is Lost, Hope is All We Have Left~

Leave a Comment

Filed under Dating Tips

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 27, 2009

Christmas-The Aftermath of a Great Holiday & Some Reflections to Consider

Where Have We Been and Where Are We Going?
Was it All Worth It & Can Things Get Better?

where do you want to start?

where do you want to start?


Soul Searching for Our Own Truth-Taking An Inventory
Now that Christmas has come and gone, this would be a great time to take a personal inventory and see where you are at with your personal life. It is something I do yearly right after Christmas, but I make sure to do it before the new year coming. Why is it I do it like this? It’s and easy answer, so let me tell you. It is because I want to know where I am and where I am going and the New Year with the tradition of resolutions is the best time for me to make changes if any are needed.

Of course, you can do this all throughout the year, but it wouldn’t mean as much, I think, or at least it doesn’t for me. Usually the only time I do this during the year is if I am in a situation that warrants it. Ok, maybe I do ask myself these questions more than I realize, but if you are a person who has never done this before, the New Year is a great place to start. Or maybe it would mean more to someone else at another time of the year, I guess it all depends on what the situation is. So, with the year coming to a close, and a new one on the way, lets ask a few personal questions to test the waters, so to speak… Ready?

Ask yourself these:

Where have things gone right for you this past year? Meaning, have you done what you wanted to do? Have you accomplished the goals you set out to do? If yes, the were the results as expected, or was there something missing, or added to them? And if you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do, why do you think hat was? Is there anything you feel that you could have done differently that would have changed things for the better to accomplish your goals?

Where have things gone not so right for you this past year? Do you feel you could have done things differently to smooth out what ever situations you may have gotten yourself into? Was there anything you could have done to change the outcome? Is there something you can do, now knowing what has happened in the past, to make things easier should a similar situation arise in the future?

And probably the most important question of all, did you in fact learn anything from your escapades over the last year? This is just the most simplest but powerful question in the world, in my opinion. It is an easy yes or no question, but it is one that makes you really think and be honest with yourself. It can only be yes or no, and that is it, no maybe, or maybe not. You have either learned from your actions or not. But either way, you have grown as a person, and that is what counts.

My Turn To Answer
Now, don’t anyone fret, I would never ask anything so personal without giving up something about myself. I would never think I was so good a person as to be above the advice I give, believe me. so, here are my answers to the questions I just had you ask yourself.

Where have things gone right, well, to be honest, I have finally figured out, after may false starts, in which direction I want to go in with my career. At first I thought I would be a Funeral Director, then a website programmer. But I didn’t do so well in college learning the programming languages like Visual Basic and such, so switched to something that makes me happier, more on that later, though. I have been a writer all of my life, however I had never done it professionally and one day I had the chance to jump into it.

So I did and here I am. I am happy, I work from home and I don’t think there was a better decision I could have made for myself. So, yes, I accomplished the goal I set for myself, I chose a career, finally. And yes, I could have done things differently but, I think if I had, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Next question, no, some things didn’t go the way they were supposed to in the area of school for me. I had set out last year to become a programmer and a coder and jumped in head first without thinking thinking because I am a quick learner it would come easily to me. Boy was I wrong. I encountered a class that made no sense to me at all and I almost failed. I take classes online, so it is a bit more difficult in certain respects.

So, yes. I dropped out. No, that’s not exactly right, I withdrew from classes. I would honestly rather drop out or withdraw than fail. And I know where I went wrong. I tried to start a career and a new school all at once, without giving thought as to where I was going to find the time to do both. But, being as I knew where I went wrong, I changed things for next time and I start again in the second week of January.

I was taking straight programming classes, but the new classes seem more interesting to me. I think I have finally found my calling because from the minute I looked at what the new classes are about, I got a chill of instant understanding, whereas I did not have that feeling with the others. And, I have finally found my way around time management, meaning I will be able to have the writing career I want and go to school to get my degree at the same time.

A new year, new school and new direction of classes. I am this time taking Interactive Media and Web Design, while minoring in journalism. I will focus on doing what is right or me, with respect a to what I want form life, not what others think I want.

And for learning something? Well, you guessed it, I learned immensely from this past year. It is really too much to go into , but things are changing, I am getting married this year, buying a house, and all because I learned a few things about myself during the year and along a bumpy ride that almost literally killed me. My physical health declined and while I was in the hospital hooked up to all these machines trying to keep me alive at the age of 32, I realized that life is too good to not live it. It’s that simple, for me anyway.

Because of all the stress I put myself through I almost killed myself and everything I had worked to achieve, and how am I supposed to enjoy what I have accomplished if I am not around to even see what I have created? And that was it. Instant change for me.

And Here We Are, An Old Year Gone, A New One On the Horizon
So, have you asked yourself these questions? It si only fair to yourself that you understand where you are, so you can figure out where you want to go…

Which brings me to being here writing this blog. We are all here for a reason, we all know this. But one thing many of us realize is the actual reason why. I realized that when I was ill, which is why I am still here writing this. This is the part of my life that I am living for.

And I will tell you why. It’s not for the money, or to maybe be famous for my writings one day, although both are and would be nice things to have. It is because with this blog, I get to talk about things that I have lived, and I get to share it with everyone. And thinking that maybe one day something I write could help even just one person, makes me happy. And that goes for everything I write, on any page or website, for anyone.

I am not sure if you have seen some of the headings in the first posts I ever made for this blog, but I explain that I write because I have lived what I write about. I write because I have been there, where some of you may be. Everything I write about is not just blind advice, no. It is something more to me. What I write about, especially for this blog, are pieces of my life and things I have learned form certain situations that I have been in and they are things I am hoping someone else can learn from too, and maybe get their asses out of a tough situation a little easier.

So, I hope this has done something for someone, even if not now, sometime in the future when someone reads this, just know I have been where you are, I know what you feel, as I have felt all of the fear, pain, sorrow, joy, happiness and excitement a person can feel when they are dating or involved with someone, have felt both the good and the bad of this thing we call romance, relationships and dating.

I have suffered as many do, but I have also lived a great life that I have learned from as well. And lived to tell about it and am a better person because of it. And if just one person reads what I write and it somehow makes their life a bit easier, if just one person can get something out of my experiences and what I have learned and write, then for me, all the suffering and all the joy, it was all worth it. And I am a much happier person because of it. And I wish everyone to have and feel the same the happiness I feel…

And with that, I will say goodnight, and good luck and until next time…

~Remember to never give up hope because when all else is lost, the hope is all we have left- It is what keeps us alive~

Merry Christmas and Please have a Safe and Happy New Year
With Much Love~JC Torpey
and everyone else from Thoughts On Dating and the SixSingles.com teams!

3 Comments

Filed under General Articles

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 25, 2009

2 of the Best Romantic Christmas Tips and Ideas To Keep the Day Intense

It’s Christmas and the Presents are Already Open, So Now What?
Tips to Keep That Romantic Christmas Spirit Alive and Well

whiteandblackmerryxmasjpg


First Things First

Merry Christmas from us here at Thoughts On Dating, and our sponsor, SixSingles.com.
xmasgift
Another wonderful year has passed, and yet we still live on. Whether it is through new traditions, or old, we here at Thoughts On Dating expect to be back year after year to bring you the best tips, secrets and advice we can muster. And today will be no different!

So again, Have a happy and safe Christmas Holiday, and may all your Romantic Dreams Come True!

Romantic Activities to Keep You Busy

couples-trejpg
Never Too Early to Un-Decorate
WARNING: This is an X-Rated Romantic idea, so if you have kids, it would be best to wait until you know they are fast asleep, or going to be out of the house for quite possible a very long time.

Well, considering it is Christmas, and you have most likely already decorated the tree, you might want to try to un-decorate it. It is never too early to get the task out of the way, unless you know you are going to have company that hasn’t come over for a visit just yet-then you may want to wait-But if not, Go For IT!

Ok, so I know you are asking, “What is so romantic about un-decorating a tree?” Here’s the scoop. The original idea is to decorate and do all the “normal” Christmas activities in the nude. So, because you already have the tree up, you can give un-decorating the tree in the nude a shot. Here is the science behind the idea…
k0440797
The movement our bodies make when we twist and contort into different poses, such as putting a decoration up-or taking one down, as is in this case, can make us strike a more sensual than usual striking pose. These poses-usually stretched out, long and lean-tend to flip a switch in our partner’s brain that signals that the time is “Now Now Now!” To get what he/she wants. It’s been done-and proven to work while putting a tree up. So it certainly cannot hurt while taking it down, as when we take decorations down, we are striking the same poses, just in reverse.

Give it a shot, you never know how much fun cleaning up after Christmas can be until you try it. But as I mentioned above, wait until you know no one will be around for a few hours at least. Especially if you have children who could walk in on you at any minute! Could make for an un-exciting finish to the Un-decorating of the tree!

Go For A Sleigh Ride Togethercouplesleighridewithhorse
If you were lucky enough to get snow where you live, one of the most romantic things you could do with your mate is share a fun time with them. And what is more fun to do on Christmas than go sleigh riding together? Or in this case, sledding, if there is no sleigh. Most small towns have rolling hills or someplace where sledding is doable. Be it a hill behind the grocery store, or a huge park in the middle of nowhere, if it has snowed, you are sure to find somewhere. If you have to, ask the neighborhood kids where the scariest sledding hill is, and that is where you should go.

But it’s not just the ride itself that is romantic, no. It is how you are going to do it. You will want to get your hands on one of those saucer shaped oversized sleds. You know the ones, this big huge red round ones. These kinds fit two together in one, and usually snuggled up real close together. This serves a few purposes.
couplesledding
Here’s the science behind the idea…

When the two of you are snuggled up close together, and happen to love each other, you already have intense feelings for each other-That is you are already attracted to each other. But now add in the sledding and the adrenaline it produces, and those intense feelings for each other will go flooding overboard and you may not even make it home before you go for a romp in the snow!
couplehorserideincarriage
Now, for those who do not have access to the Winter Wonderlands that we Northerners do, there is an alternative, although it’s not as adrenaline producing, or original-But it still is one of THE most romantic things you can do on Christmas, that’s for sure. If you live in a town large enough, you are sure to have Horse & Buggy Rides somewhere. O,r you could arrange to go for a horseback ride together on the same horse. Yes, it is cold, but that is the point! You get onto one horse, or if you are in the carriage, sit next to each other, not across-and snuggle up and feel the intensity of your partner’s warmth against you. That will get juices flowing, for sure.

Because, In The End…
It’s all about the love and the feelings you share together,and the things you do together-NOT what you buy for each other. If you love someone, you can turn anything into a romantic activity or idea. Just try to stay safe and relatively sane, and you can’t go wrong!

Be Safe and Have A Merry Christmas!

~Never Give Up Hope-When All Else is Lost, Hope is All We Have Left~

1 Comment

Filed under Dating Tips, General Articles

Tagged as , , ,

December 21, 2009

7 (Mostly) Unknown Facts About Women-Part 2

The Bad Boy Stereotype is NOT What A Women Really Wants in A Man

csc21027
I am probably going to get killed for writing this. This are some very powerful words I’ve got here. This is a seven part series on the most unknown secrets of women. And they are not just any secrets, either. They are the secrets about women that most of us women don’t want any man to ever know about.

So why am I posting them? Because I am loyal to my readers as my readers are loyal to me. It’s that simple. Respect for the people I say. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. So read on, follow the advice given here and go on to a successful life in dating. That is of course until you find the right one…

Check back every Saturday or Sunday for the next installment of The Secrets of Women Exposed. There will be seven parts altogether. I Promise it’ll be worth your time and the wait!

The “Bad Boy” and the “Confident Man” There is a Difference

tattoo_man
The Bad Boy Type-Why Women Love Them?
That’s right guys, there is a difference between a man who is strong and confident and a man who just acts like the “bad boy” stereotype. And yes, it might actually look as if a woman wants to be surrounded by those bad boys, but it just simply is not true. You see, even though it is true that a bad boy is fun to be around, they just get into too much trouble for our liking. Let me explain.

A woman is attracted to a bad boy because of the confidence he has in himself. Also the fact that a bad boy will go about his day as if he doesn’t care much about anything. He just does or says what he wants without thinking about it. An for awhile, this is interesting for us women to see. It is different. It is something that we have not had access to very much in our lives before.

So when the bad boy comes long with his dark and mysterious good looks, his I don’t care attitude and the way he commands we go with him, joined at the hip, we just have to give in. It’s not our fault, we are naturally this way.
scohen002231
Now Here’s the Secret
We think we want the man with the bad boy image and attitude too! You see, the first few times we get together and start dating a bad boy, it is because of the excitement that automatically gets injected into our otherwise boring lives. Day after day, it is a new adventure with a bad boy. Whether it be sneaking into see our favorite movie at the theater or protesting something we stand for, the bad boy usually gets us to do things we normally wouldn’t do.

And that is when we women start to figure out the guy with the bad boy image is not what we really want in a man. No, we women really don’t want to keep getting tickets because we speed without care, we don’t really want to end up in jail-again for the 24th time-just because we refused to pay our dinner bill again and just walked right out and most of all, we certainly do not want to get labeled with the “bad girl” label and not have the future ability to score a decent man in life because of a few dates full of foolishness. Absolutely not.

The Wake Up Call
That is when we realize there are better ways to have fun and experience excitement in our lives. That is also when we realize there are better men to be had too. You see, there is a difference between a bad boy and a confident man, it just takes a little while for us women to figure that out and apply the concept to the real world.
confidence1
The Confident Man-What the Difference Is
The confident man is a man who knows what he wants and knows how to go about getting it-the right way. A confident man will show a women he is not afraid, just like the bad boy, but he will do it in a sensible, more commanding way. He will do it in a way that shows women he knows what he is doing but still cares enough bout himself-and you-to not have to put himself or you in danger. Let me explain.

As there is no way to fake confidence, the bad boy tries, but the truth finally comes out in the end, the confidence must be real. A confident man knows he is good looking, but will not over do the looking in the mirror, or the attention getting antics because he looks good. Where a bad boy will border on conceit, a confident man just doesn’t have to, and women take notice anyway.
confidence4
A bad boy will do anything for attention, because he thinks it makes him look good and strong. In reality, a man pining for attention using the tactics of a bad boy is really just acting childish. A confident man will do anything to get what he want,s, but will do it in a calculated, intelligent way that does not get him into trouble with the law.

Things just seem to work out with a man who’s confident. It is almost as because he knows he is confident, he can create the situation he wants. Some women will argue the Law of attraction, but there is no conclusive evidence one way or the other.

Why Confident Men Will Always Win the War
Confident men somehow know how to do all the right things to reel a woman in and keep her right where he wants her. Just remember one thing, however, just because a man is confident and knows what he wants and how to get it, it doesn’t mean that he will take advantage of it. No, a real man would never use what they know they have against a woman in that way. That is what makes them so attractive to women. Because they know they have the tools and the attitude to lure us in, but won’t use them, it gains points with us women.
confidence
There is a fine line between confident and controlling, or being a jerk even. The trick is when a man is trying for confidence, it needs to come from within. It cannot be fake, or we women will know it and balk at you. The confidence a man feels comes from years of experience, years of knowledge and years of learning the opposites of what he wants now. Most confident men started out at one point as the bad boy, but they learned eventually the bad boy image won’t get them anywhere quick.

In the End
Relationships are nothing to play with and neither are a person’s feelings. Whenever a man or a women feels they have been played with, it is nevr a good thing. this is something the confident, strong man takes into account, while the bad boy will take it for granted.

The ultimate secret, no matter what you see or hear within the dating world, is to be yourself. There is nothing more attractive in the world than a man who knows himself and what he wants, and that’s it. No fake laugh, no fake dreams of the future and most of all, no fake men.

~Never Give Up Hope-When All Else is Lost, Hope is All We Have Left~

1 Comment

Filed under Dating Tips, General Dating

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,